Size doesn't matter

XXS, XS, S, M, L, XL, 1X, 2X, 3X To some those combinations of letters and numbers are basically their entire world. How they view themselves is solely based on the size they wear. If they go up a size, they go home and throw away junk food, and get on the treadmill. If they go down a size, everyone and their mother are going to know about it on social media one way or another.  How is this normal? The size that you wear means nothing to Joe Blow that is checking out behind you. I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I danced growing up and was never the skinniest one in my dance class. I had boobs, a stomach, and thighs. But I could twirl just as well as the other skinnies. I went to college, lived on my own for 4 years and gained weight. Stress from school, a little depression from being on my own and unhealthy habits got the best of me. What can I say? It happens. I moved back home, got a job and started realizing just how truly unhappy I was in my own skin.  Hello, wake up call. I am 26. I have never really been in a real relationship. My younger brother is happy in love and ready to tie the knot. Let's also mention that I seriously just have to refresh my Facebook and BAM another couple is engaged or announcing they're pregnant. That alone is enough to buy stock in Ben and Jerry's. Call me corny but that is all I have ever wanted in life. To be happy in love, in a white house with a red door and kids playing in the backyard. So cliche, I know. (You don't have to tell me twice.) And now he was getting his chance. All I have to show for my nonexistent love life is my Cheeto-stained fingers and me live tweeting The Bachelorette.  But it hasn't been until recently where I finally came into my own about everything going on in my life. My mom and I met up with my future sis-in-law to catch up about life in St. Augustine. The outlet mall was across the street from the restaurant that we met her at so when the going gets though, we go shopping.  I have been stressed beyond belief about the idea of finding a dress for this wedding it is not even funny. I keep looking at dresses with the only thought process being would that look good in pictures or would I look like a bloated whale? We ended up in Lane Bryant Outlet and I have never prayed so hard in my life that maybe something would stand out on the racks for me to try on so I didn't seem so helpless finding a dress for this event less than 3 months away. 

I found a red lace natural waist dress. They had sizes 14, 22 or 26. That's fun! I have been trying to cut back and watch what I eat to get ready for the shindig. I knew I had lost some weight. Not enough to fit a size 14 but maybe a 22. I got someone to pull the zipper and hot damn it went up!  The thing is just because the zipper went up, does NOT mean it looked good. The dress had this natural waistband and it hit me at the wrong spot and didn't lay right on me. So we got the 26 and sure enough, the dress laid better on my curves and didn't make me so exposed if you know what I mean.  Was I crushed when I had to get the larger size? No. The size that was on the dress label meant nothing to me. Sure. I was so proud of myself when that the size 22 zipper zipped. But nothing compares to the feeling of the dress looking good on my body.  No worrying that my muffin top was hanging out. No worrying that my boobs were going to poke someone's eye out. No worrying about sitting down and something could come tumbling out of place. No worrying about popping a seam. No worrying that if I bent over all of the world would be scarred for life at what they saw. It rages me to no end when I people get so worked up over the stupid size. If I dressed the smallest part of my body and let everything just hang out, I would be in jail for public indecency.  It is so important to highlight your assets and cover your imperfections in a respectful way. I tell people all the time to not look at the tag but to look at how you look in the mirror when you were trying on the clothes. Just because you can close the button on size 12 jeans doesn't mean they actually fit. If it looks like you stuffed yourself in the jeans and have a muffin top, chances are it doesn't fit. I am sorry but it is just not cute to bend over and have everything come spilling out like hot lava.   Just look at how shocked these women were when they tried on clothes without looking at the tag:
I am a 2X. Sometimes 3X or 1X. But above all else... I am more than the size on the tag.

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Ashley Graham SLAYS

Dear Joe Jonas,
I can't even put into words how madly in love with you I am. I have loved you ever since Year 3000. The Jonas Brothers were awesome and I have to admit you were Burning Up.
DNCE is my jam. Cake by the Ocean is my favorite song to jam out to in the car.  But this new video for Toothbrush is EPIC beyond reason. {REPEAT 1,000 TIMES A DAY}

1. Ashley Graham

1. Ashley Graham

1. Ashley Graham

Let's discover all the reasons why this music video is my favorite video of all time.

This video is such a breath of fresh air. It gives people like me with curves and all hope for the future that maybe one day we will see many, many more music videos.

Thank you, Joe! 

P.S I will gladly leave a toothbrush at your place.

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Because every girl with curves wants to wear a mumu

Sunday is Easter. I am a pastor's kid. Therefore I am required to not only show up to church but look to impress. So after I left work yesterday, I decided I would go to my favorite store in town to just see what they have. You can never have too many skirts or shirts. I can mix and match the old with the new and people can think they have never seen it before. Trust me. I get asked constantly if something is new when I have worn it a thousand times.  But I digress...
I live in a small town. So my choice of plus size clothing stores in town are TJMaxx or Cato. Cato wins always. Sorry TJMaxx but you only have old lady plus size clothes and that is major annoying. There are girls with curves who want to look like they are not 68 years old. In case you haven't heard of Cato's, they are a clothing store that offers ladies and plus sizes. I like them cause they "normally" offer plus size versions of their regular sizes. They are inexpensive and great quality. I never have a problem in that store. Normally. 
I walked in and start looking through to see what they have. Lots of spring colors and patterns. But the elephant in the room was the lack of seams in almost every plus size piece for sale. You name it shirts, pants, skirts, dresses and even jackets. Baggy McBaggerson. My heart was literally breaking right there in the store. 

Even the model is uncomfortable

We are living in an age where for the first time a plus size model was featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Stores like Lane Bryant are having commercials being banned on major television networks on it's body-positive message. A male plus size model has been signed with a modeling agency. So why is it that I should feel confident as a plus size woman with all that being said but instead I walk around a store and feel like there are no clothes on the market for my size?
I walk around in Target and see there are only 4 racks for plus sizes in the far back corner of the store and then the rest of the ladies clothing section is for sizes 0-12. Is it fair? 
My body is mine and mine alone. I was made to be exactly as I am. You don't have to approve of my body. As long as I am comfortable in my own skin, that is what matters. But I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable to shop for myself. 
Clothes should be figure flattering to everyone. Not every single woman with curves wants to wear a mumu. If I see another shirt with flowy chiffon fabric that is longer than my butt, I will be in jail. I am sick and tired of shark bite shirts. I want princess seams and fabric that can give me shape. I can't even find a basic t-shirt without an extra yard of fabric. Is impossible for us to have skinny jeans or does every pant on the market have to be a palazzo pant? 
I want to believe that there is hope in sight and things will change. But I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every plus size website that I go on is all the same. I am willing to pay full retail for something that fits and looks good. I fully believe in the power of good fitting clothing. If it fits my body well, you can bet your bottom dollar I am walking out of the store with it. However, at what price am I willing to pay to wear yards and yards of fabric? When is it time to say enough is enough?
I walked out frustrated, mad as hops, and my confidence visibly shaken. I am done with retailers thinking that all plus size women want to wear potato sacks. No one wants to go shopping and feel like a whale when leaving the store. Shopping for new clothes should make you feel happy. But instead, I felt like a bloated whale. 
And that is not a good feeling.

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Swim Sassy: Confession of a plus size swimsuit shopper

This was the year. 


The year that I ALWAYS dread with passion. 
As women, I know you all must feel my pain. 


The dreaded...(insert jaws theme here) Swimsuit Shopping.
AHHHHHH


It is literally a battle against the jaws of life to get me to do anything in a store related to swimwear. For many years, I have been in and out of stores on the verge of a complete temper tamper meltdown like a 3 year old kid who had their lollipop taken from them. 


This year my family sent me on my own to handle swimsuit gate this year. Oh joy! They normally go to prevent me from checking into a mental hospital. I talked to myself as I normally do when going shopping as to prevent me from getting upset when things don't fit, you can't afford that right now, quit looking at the jewelry and get back on plan Haley! That kind of thing. Perfectly normal right?!?!


Because the last time I went bathing suit shopping was such a traumatic experience, I was walking into my first store in the mall like I was walking to my death. 

First stop...JCP (or now JcPenneys or as I have always called it Penneys). When I got to the women's department, I noticed the small section of swim stuff and gulped with fear. I looked at all the other clothes, and granted the courage to get the job done. I started pulling things in random sizes cause I had no clue what was going to happen and didn't want to be back in the dressing room more than I needed to be. (It's dangerous when I am. Trust me.)


Round 1: Suits were OK. Nothing to make me cry but just OK. 


Round 2: First suit I tried on, I saw angels with beams of light and unicorns in the background. 

I am a girl with curves. I have had my fair share of battles with my weight FOREVER. I was in an odd place when I went shopping and thought that shopping for a new suit especially this year in particular was going to really mess with me. But I kicked swimsuit shopping in the butt and showed it who is boss. 

Wanna know how? Check it!

My guide to plus size swim swear shopping

• Support. Support, Support: Pay close attention to the straps. If you have a suit with well placed straps that give plenty of support. Thin straps are just going to make everything worse. All you will do is worry about what is hanging out and tuck and pull up your suit every time you breathe. You won't feel confident when you are worrying about that. I love halters and spaghetti straps that you can adjust.
• Play up what you want to play up: If you have great legs, show them. Like your chest?  V necks. Decide one part of your body that you like and play it up. You will feel so much better every time you put on your suit if you like the way your boobs or legs look. Right ladies?
• Fabric can be your friend.: Stick to tankinis or a one piece. It will elongate your torso and body to make you look long and lean. Keep in mind Swim dresses as an option as it will hide hips and downplay thighs. 
• Find something that you love about the swimsuit itself: Patterns, cut outs, necklines are all something to look for when shopping. All of those things will make you love your suit and while on help draw attention away from those problem areas. 
• No matter how tempting it may be, don't try to squeeze into something that is just too small: Nothing is worse than seeing someone in a swimsuit that is just plain too tight. 

 My favorite suits 

Jcpenny.com

Own your bodies and show the swimsuit who is boss! 

A woman with confidence is everything.

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Word of the Day: Structure

Enough is enough.

I have officially had enough of this. Grab a pen and paper cause this is happening.  Dear plus size clothing manufacturers, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE WORD STRUCTURE???

I have never wanted to look like a blimp. All of your clothing on the market makes me look like one, I guess you think it will be a good look on me. NOT! Every single piece of clothing I have seen shopping around in stores, is so big and baggy its ridiculous. There is enough fabric on that shirt I can cut in half and donate it. I don't want to see anymore overly baggy shirts with a band at the bottom of the shirt to make me look even bigger than I already am.  Where are their waists?!?!?! Every shirt on page 1 of Lane Bryant's website has zero structure and is Baggy McBagShirts.

All the models on the website look swallowed in fabric. I DARE you to go through all the pages in the tops section if you don't believe me. So if all of the models look like blimps online, won't that mean the same thing for me when I go shopping. 

I want a shirt that has seams. I want shirts that don't require a belt to show off my waistline. 

I have watched enough episodes of What Not To Wear to know how to dress for my ever changing body type. 

It's not like I am asking for a lot. Am I? 

Give me a shirt with structure, and I am a happy girl. Word. 

I went to Target the other day just being sucked into the "you desperately need this vortex" as usual. While I was there I start through the clothing department as always, and was instantly turned off that there was flipping nothing. HOLY COW. Like do they realize lots of people of all sizes shop in Target? So why are you going to dedicate all this room for regular sizes and then give 2 racks for plus size that HAVE NO STRUCTURE. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?

As seen here...

http://www.thecurvyelle.com/2013/04/a-open-letter-to-target-plus-size.html

What is it going to take?
No really, what is it going to take for us to get clothes great for all sizes plus included?

Share the fashion love. Girls of all sizes should like cute and trendy.

Let's do this.

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